September 9

A Day With Flair

For a 2nd time after May 14 (click here for the blog entry from that day), I had the pleasure of not only visiting my longest (in years) friend Irma again but also doing some shopping at her lovely little boutique. It’s not often anymore that I come to my hometown of Aachen, but for this special occasion – the 1st birthday of Flair Modesalöngchen – it was no question to pay her a visit… and of course to leave with some cool stuff, as usual.

When you’re into fancy clothes (she carries them from S to XXL!) and accessories for outstandingly great and affordable prices, don’t hesitate! It’s all worth it. See? I even drove 1+ hour today 😉

Check out her website here, her Facebook page here and her Instagram here for more information. And if you stop by, say hi from me!

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Before going there, I visited two other places… the gravesite of my Dad, who passed away on April 21, 2015, and the gavesite of my Mom, who passed away on June 6, 1994.Both are buried on different cemeteries, about 20 minutes apart by car.

When my Dad was still alive, he was the one who took care of my Mom’s gravesite. I didn’t visit so often. Not because I don’t care about my Mom anymore. I do so VERY much. Still.

For 22 years, not a single day has passed where I haven’t thought about her. I’m just not a person who needs to visit a gravesite regularly, to mourn and to think about someone. My Mom is with me, inside of my heart, every single moment of my life. The site of a grave is just that. The site of a grave. It’s not where I picture that my Mom is.

And for one and a half years, this now also counts for my Dad. He remarried a while ago, but I haven’t seen his wife since the funeral last year. Unlike my Mom, his gravesite is a lot smaller since he was cremated. There’s nothing to ‘maintain’. However, now that he’s no more, it’s me who has to take care of my Mom’s. Which is a bit tricky since I live almost 1.5 hrs away by car. Thank God I have relatives to look after it every now and then.

Today was the time, to visit both gravesites again since I was in the area.

But as I said… those sites are not where I mourn and think about them.

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2 thoughts on “September 9

  1. The Intrepid Angeleno

    Happy Anniversary, Irma’s boutique!!!!!

    I’m not a person who needs to visit a gravesite regularly, either.

    Having never had to take care of a gravesite, can you explain what needs to be done? I remember you told me once that graves are different there than they are here. I think here the people who run the cemeteries take care of the ground where the graves are…mowing the grass or whatever. What else is there to DO? I’m sure you’re not out there pushing a lawn mower around. I see nice rocks around Mom and Dad’s graves in your pictures. We don’t have rocks so I’m really curious. Or at least I’ve never SEEN rocks at any cemetery I’ve ever been to and I’ve been to a lot of cemeteries.

    What happens after all the family members are gone? Does the grave go untended?

    Do you want to be buried or cremated? Both sound so horrible to me I can’t decide so I leave the decision to whoever is in charge of my body when I die. Don’t tell me, just do it.

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  2. Heidisblog2016 Post author

    On many graves are e.g. planted flowers or other kind of plants and you have to keep the flowers alive and overall the grave… clean and nice looking. Occasionally planing new stuff if the old one had died and other stuff. There are little rocks on my Mom’s because it’s easier to take care of it. You buy a gravesite usually for 30 years. Once these years are up they will “remove” it (there’s not much there in the ground after 30 years and IF there is, it will be… well, taken care of. Don’t have the words right now to properly describe it.) If there’s no one there anymore to look after a grave within the 30 years, it will look really bad and abandoned after a while, of course. My Mom’s will be there for another 8 years and then the 30 years are up.

    My Mom always wanted to be cremated and I HATED the thought. I wasn’t able to “allow” it back then. My Mommy burning in fire? No way!!!
    My view has changed after I had to cremate my biological father some years ago. The ahes were scattered latter under a big tree and I was MAJORLY surprised about a) the whole ceremony that I liked (as much as you can “like” something like this) and b) I was surprised that my view on cremating completely changed after that. From that day on it was clear to me that I want to be cremated. And I have regretted that I haven’t done it for my Mom. But back then I just couldn’t.

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